By Tom O’Rourke
Tom@TomOParksandRec.com
January 2023 Article #2 – 2023
I am quite sure that the comments from this post will be mainly anonymous. That is fine with me!
I have the quickest and easiest way to relieve your problems of working for a manager or supervisor that is bad…Quit your job. Okay, that may be a bit drastic, at first, but if you work for someone that does not value you, or appreciate your contributions, or may be a bit insecure because of your abilities, then you may want to start “looking around.”
It’s the start of a new year. Give yourself a timeline to either, create a better situation, or learn how to live with it. I think that the best course of action is to do all you can to make your present situation work, but If either of these two actions cannot be attained, I would recommend that you cut your losses and get your awesome self into a situation where you are valued.
As I stated above, quitting should not be your first step, it should be your last. There are many steps to take to make your present situation work for you and your agency, and it may be easier than you think.
The answers to the rectifying this situation depend upon where you are in your professional career. If you are a young professional, be careful. Any misstep could follow you throughout your career. If you have been in the profession for a while or are a seasoned professional, your experience may allow you some freedom in your communications, but caution is always an essential precaution.
Supervisor-Worker or Manger-Employee is nothing more than a relationship. We all find ourselves in many different types of relationships. It would be interesting to examine the reasons that “good” relationships work well. Below is a list of some foundational basics for establishing a great relationship.
Try these relationship building traits first.
Ø Build a Foundation of Respect and Appreciation – Sure you may know more than your supervisor but respect their position.
Ø Really Listen – Let your supervisor articulate their vision
Ø Establish a Win-Win situation (Relationship wins, not individual wins)
Ø Staying Involved with Each Other – If you take interest in their work, they will take interest in your ideas.
Ø Never stop Communicating
Ø Be open to change and New Things – and some things you may not like or want to do.
Ø Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict
Ø Don’t ignore problems
Ø Be sensitive to what your partner likes
Ø Mutual Respect – You may not respect them, but you must respect their position.
Ø Trust – Be careful with this one. You will know when you can trust someone, and more importantly, who you cannot trust.
Ø Honesty – Always, Always, Always, be truthful and honest. If you lose that, you have nothing.
Ø Support – Show your supervisor or manager support.
Look at the above list again. Imagine if you were able to master these traits. You will make yourself a better employee and eventually a better manager. Before you consider leaving where you are, put in the work. Try. If it does not work, then you will have a clear conscious when you leave.
If your current situation is mostly about managerial incompetence, that is not always a bad thing. You can work with someone who just may not know too much. You may even be able to help them. Making your manager look good is a trait that will serve you well throughout your career. The people that are managing your supervisor know who is doing the work. On the other hand, if your issues lie with a supervisor that is immoral, dishonest, and distrustful, get out as fast as you can.
If you make the decision to search for another position, be careful. Don’t be the person who bad-mouths their current supervisor or employer. Usually when you talk bad about people, it says more about you than about them. Be positive and professional as you search. It is okay to leave your job for another, in fact many times a new beginning will provide the spark that will energize your career. I’ve always said that you don’t want to “go from” something, you want to “go to” something. As you leave, your story should be that you are going to a position that you think is better for you, not that you are leaving because you are upset.
In closing I want to give you a little reality on how people are hired for GOOD positions. Of course, the job will be listed, and HR do their work, but the best leaders do not let their good positions go to someone they have not researched at every level. Applications, Resumes, and Cover letters will not get you the great jobs. Who you are will. Every day you wake up you are on a job interview. Act like it and prepare for it. The small things matter, like appearance, personality, and ability to communicate. One fact that I know is true, if you are someone people want to be around, and you are a “real” person, the jobs will come to you.
Great article Tom. I have been in a toxic situation with a supervisor that literally put me on meds! In my situation I choose the route of “cut your losses and get your awesome self into a situation where you are valued.” That is a great quote from your post. Honestly, it definitely put me at ease to read. Just because a supervisor is unrealistic, incapable or just a plain jerk, doesn’t mean that your skills and abilities are less valuable or less important to the overall goal. I was able to stick it out and land into a position that I am valued and respected among my peers. I can say that this environment is a greenhouse for growth in my profession. With support, mutual respect and healthy dialogue there are no limits to your success. Thank you Tom for this article!
Thank you Ryan. No situation is perfect. I am glad that you find yourself in a position that speaks to you. Good Luck in all you do.
Loved this! Before I garnered the courage to speak up and move on, I’d let off steam commiserating with DeAndre Brown (https://www.tiktok.com/@imdrebrown ) and day dreaming about how I’d quit. If nothing else, I learned how to ask better questions early on. I interviewed for an a Outdoor Rec Supervisor role early last year and asked the hiring manager, “How is success measured in the role?” and “How does Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion manifest for your team?” They couldn’t answer either question and actually said, “Good thing I’m not the one being interviewed here!” They reached out with an offer 6 months later and I told her based on those answers, I know would not be a good fit.
Tiara, I am not sure there is a better skill to acquire than the courage to “SPEAK UP.” Congratulations. I love your questions. Those will surely let you know very quickly who you will be working for. Just keep being you. You are going to be great in our field.
I am a huge fan of the idea “fail fast.” Any time wasted in a bad situation is time that could be building a career at a good company! Luckily I am not in that situation, I am really happy with Ensafe. I hope you have a great year!
Hi Terri, I hope you are well. “Fail Fast,” I love that, but many times, it is not the employee that fails it is the person supervising them. Great point.
Wise words of wisdom for any professional at every stage of their career and development! Thank you.
Thanks Nancy. You just never know. It is important to work through this systematically instead of emotionally or in anger.
Over twenty years dedicated to my community. The residents called me the face of the community. Those new at the top saw me as the old school. “I worked for the former administration.”
I always helped every department, signed up for every committee, and had three title changes but the place turned toxic.
Ideas were only welcome if you agreed with management.
I left. It was very hard, but another community took a chance on me and my mental health is so much better now.
Look for other jobs every day, even if you aren’t serious. You never know what you may find.
Keep your resume up to date.
Great article Tom.
Parks & Rec Girl, this is an excellent comment. What I liked most is that you did not let them “win.” You knew you had value so you took it somewhere else. Of course, I know it hurts leaving those you serve, but in the end you have to take care of YOU!