By Tom O’Rourke
Tom@TomOParksandRec.com
January 2023 Article #1 – 2023
I just finished reading one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. The book was titled The Midnight Library. The main character, Nora, does a countdown to the exact second that she will take her life. (Sounds like a great book, doesn’t it?) At the exact moment when she is to end it all she finds herself in a library with an unlimited number of books. Each book shows how her life would have worked out if she made different choices than the ones that put her in the position that she is in. By the end of the book, she decides that she alone has put her in the position that she is in, and, more importantly, she is the one person that can change everything about her life. A great message for a new year.
For years, usually at the beginning of each year, it was a ritual of mine to articulate quantitative goals. After many years of repeating this exercise, I think I’ve come up with something that I think may work a bit better. I’m not concerned as much about having a year-end long list of tasks that I achieved, I now want to create a laser focus on my personal values.
Values are simply things that are important to you. After leaving a life of full-time work, I now find myself enjoying the benefits of being able to choose how I want to spend my days. I probably work more hours, and spend more time teaching, speaking, and writing than I ever have, but I now choose the things that speak to me and my purpose in life. If you know your purpose in life, and the values that are important to you, your life choices become very easy. This article is about creating your own Purpose, Values, and Choices.
How do we do this?
You owe it to yourself to put in the time to understand your purpose and what you value. There is no time like a New Year to spend time with these thoughts.
1. Articulate your PURPOSE in life. Why you are on this earth? Write it down and keep it close.
2. What are the things you VALUE?
Sample list
· Rest
· Family
· Money
· Relationships
· Health
· Play
· Alone Time
Make this list your own. Once you have your list FEED your values with your actions.
3. Create great CHOICES. I have learned that in choosing, it may be better to choose what you DO NOT do, rather than what it is that you will do. Your choices are your actions. Stop doing the things that do not speak to your purpose or your values. Get rid of the “junk” in your life. Once you remove the clutter you will be surprised that your values are right there waiting for you. Clearing the junk and clutter takes courage. You need to find yours. You will need the courage to stop doing the things that do not speak to your values or purpose. This may mean dropping human clutter. Do not allow people that do not make you better and add to your life, reside within your head.
In conclusion, none of this will work unless you bring honesty and truth to the discussion. (Actually, I think you need honesty and truth in EVERY discussion.) Don’t make life’s decisions about anything other than what you want. It doesn’t matter what your spouse, partner, parents, or friends think. You must take care of you first. You must love yourself first. Creating a life purpose that speaks to you, and the values that support this, will create daily actions toward a more meaningful life.
Good Luck!
What a wonderful way to kick off the first day of the year! Realizing human clutter is huge, focusing on values second big one. Sometimes I find I just need a good friend, a cup of tea, and good old fashioned writing to get my head back where it needed to be! Thank you, sir!
Love you always and wish you well.
Deb,
You are my first ever comment on my new web site. I am so honored.
Have a great year.
Tom
I’m so glad to see that you decided to take this leap to write. To do what makes you happy! What you value! There is much wisdom in what you just shared . It’s not easy to eliminate the clutter, but it’s so important. I also say back to you…good luck on this journey! I look forward to reading them.
Thanks Cindie,
We both have a lot to share. I think we’ve seen it all.
Happy New Year and stay close in 2023.
Tom O
Well done Tom! I loved how you simplified the concept of values and eliminating clutter. It doesn’t matter if it’s stuff, routine, or negative influences. If they are not building you up, don’t let them tear you down. I hope you have a great 2023. It’s always a pleasure seeing how you’re doing, and the positive impact you’re making.
-Chris C.
Thank you Chris. It’s funny how “clutter” removal is something we do not do enough. I didn’t want to be too much of a jerk in my article, but I was serious about the “human clutter.” Thanks for your kind comments and I know you guys are tearing it up.Have a great year.
Tom, I have known you for a long time, and I continue to be amazed at your wisdom and clarity. Yeh, I “know” this stuff, but it is easy to lose sight of putting it into practice.
Thank you, my friend.
Thank you Paul. Of all the people I know, I do not think you have much of a problem putting any of your thoughts into practice. I admire you and your work.